Celebrating “phases” in a relationship

Last March, I celebrated 6 years of being together with Hubby. No, not married for 6 years, but been together for 6 years! It is by far the longest relationship I’ve ever had. No ex-boyfriends in the past has lasted this long. When I look back, I can’t imagine how I managed to still love him to bits even after so long.

Well, he does annoy me sometimes, he does have flaws (no one’s perfect, you know) and we do have our occasional “debates” (“arguments” sound like a horrible word). In spite of all the negatives, I love him regardless and the positives far outweigh the negatives.

In most relationships, you go through several phases. First, you have the honeymoon phase where neither party can do no wrong. You are smitten and completely lost in the infatuation (and most likely – lust). Slowly though all this, you get to know the person better. Personality, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, etc.

Then, (in my opinion), you come to the “geli” phase. “Geli” is Bahasa Malaysia for annoying / gross / disgusted / chilling… I can’t really find the right words for it in English.

Generally, you’re getting close to your partner and you start the soft talks, exchanging romantic words, whisper sweet nothings. It’s all nice and fun in the beginning, but after sometime you feel… well, “geli”. For me, I go through this phase with all my relationships in the first month. The true test for the said boyfriend, is to survive this phase with me. You need to keep your distance, go easy on the “romantic” words / gestures. Suddenly, calling at night to say, “I miss you today” is the last thing I want to hear. I now know that you can be loving (from the honeymoon phase), now I want to see you be man-ly and macho.

I had this conversation with some of my girlfriends before and they seem to have this phase, too. What about you?

Needless to say, after being in this 6 year relationship, we have been through a lot of phases in the relationship. However, life is always a learning lesson and there will be many many more phases that I’ve yet to share with Hubby.

Looking forward to it. The “Starting a Family” phase, “Retirement” phase, “Growing Old Together” phase, “Wiping Drool / Changing Each Other’s Diapers” phase.

So many more phases to look forward to… and I mean it. I do look forward to them.

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