This is a book that I happen to chance upon as I was browsing for some light reading. Yes, the title does sound a little scary and give me weird glances from strangers when I’m reading it.
No, I’m not plotting to kill my husband. But as you would have guessed it, this is a book about general women’s frustrations with their other half. I would refrain from naming them “the better half” because it’s not always the case. Plus, we all know that the women in the relationship is almost always “the better half”. *wink*
Written by UK author, Kathy Lette, this story surrounds 3 very different married women. One stay at home mom and wife, one childless career woman and one working mom and wife.
What started out as one of these women having discovered her husband’s infidelity turned into the other 2 friend re-examining their marriage.
Does a wife vow to love, hoover and obey?
It is scientifically proven that no woman has ever shot her husband whilst he as vacuuming. Husbands say they would like to help more around the house, only they can’t multi-task. But would they have trouble multi-tasking at, say, an orgy?
Jazz Jardine, stay-at-home mum; Hannah, childless career woman; and Cassie, demented working mother, are three ordinary women. Their record collections are classical, not criminal. But when Jazz is arrested for her husband’s murder, they set out to prove her innocence – uncovering betrayal, adultery, thinner thighs and toy boys aplenty en route.
Sexy, funny and wise, Kathy Lette’s irresistible new novel will strike a chord with women everywhere and ensure that, from now on, we all read the small print on our marriage licenses.
I wouldn’t say that the book was fantastically written and a page turner. It was just a regular beach time novel that you immediately forget as soon as you read it. However, there is a specific excerpt from the book that got me thinking.
When confronted with an affair…
“He said that obviously affairs fulfill some need that isn’t being met within the marriage and, as long as that need continues to be unmet, so the dissatisfied partner will continue to be unfaithful. Rather than destroy the marriage, he said it was kinder to look elsewhere for things that are missing. According to him infidelity is a strategy for maintaining our marriage. It is an act of preservation, rather than destruction. That’s how he justifies being a repeat cheat.”
Just forget about the fact that this is probably some silly excuses a cheating husband is telling the wife for a second and look at the philosophy behind the statement. Let’s assume that the need that isn’t fulfilled is not sex but something less damaging – like traveling.
If you enjoy vacationing and traveling to exotic places but your partner isn’t. Wouldn’t it be fair for you to look for a bestie to fulfill that need of yours. Go traveling with a friend (gender of the friend aside) since your parter is not into that sort of thing.
Or perhaps, it’s your love for musicals or ballets or operas that your husband thinks is gay. So, you rally up your girlfriends to go with you.
I brought this up to some of my girlfriends lately and that seems like a fair point.
However, when your partner suddenly decide to be interested to share this or fulfill this need of yours one day, he/she can’t suddenly expect you to dump your travel companion or musical buddy just like that! So, how do you rectify this?
When speaking in the context of sex, it is a much touchier subject. Because society has molded us to think that this act is between a monogamous relationship. So any straying in this area is a deal-breaker. But if you keep an objective mind and forget about the morality of this for a second, the theory should apply.
Think about it. No marriage is perfect. We know that. But if the whole marriage is working and just one need is not being met, would you jeopardize a near perfect arrangement just for one missing piece that is being fulfilled externally? I suppose the answer should be – which piece is missing?
I am not in anyway excusing infidelity. It is a deal-breaker for me and many women, too – along with abuse of any kind, physical, mental or verbal. Which is why this book delves into how the women reacted in situation when you’re the victim of a cheating partner.
In summary, this book is merely an average read. I would rate it only 2 out of 5 star. It is nothing spectacular. I am, however, intrigued by this particular theory of a minor need that is unmet in a marriage.
Click on the link and check out Amazon’s book descriptions, other readers’ reviews and buy “How To Kill Your Husband” by Kathy Lette.
What do you think?