I have been having restless sleep lately. Not only do I go to bed, wake up an hour later and lay wide eyed. I also get bouts where I lie in bed, budged around, eyes closed, mind wandering… only to stare at the clock later that it’s now 3am and I’m still not asleep.
I get this alot when I have a full day the next day ahead of me. Whether there are meetings or work to do, my mind can’t seem to rest. It usually starts with the below sequence of thoughts where I have a silent conversation in my mind with myself.
- Oh! What a busy day I have tomorrow. I’d better get some sleep and wake up fresh and ready.
- I have a meeting in the morning at 9am. Probably have time to call some clients after that…
- Yeah. I need to speak to Mr A urgently about this. He’s not been reachable lately. Maybe I should try him before my meeting.
- So if it’s a 9am meeting, I have to wake up at least an hour before so I don’t rush. I think I might have time to wash my hair and dry it in time.
- Hey – stop it!!! I need to go sleep now for any chance of waking up! (Reminder #1)
- I hate to have to use the flat iron after drying my hair in the morning. Flat iron damages your hair, you know. You can’t afford to damage your hair after all you’ve put it through over the years.
- Wait! What will I wear tomorrow? I will be moving around a lot. So I should wear pants, it’s a bitch trying to move around too much if I’m in a skirt of dress. Yeah, pants. I haven’t worn that purple shirt in awhile. I should wear that tomorrow. Maybe I should get up and put it aside, in case I forget?
- Wait, I also need to go to the bank! I think I’m down to my last RM 50 in my wallet. Should I check? Which is the nearest bank to the meeting place? Can I go somewhere on the way?
- Damn! I think my car ran out of petrol as well. OK OK. So I’m heading to PJ. I will stop at the Sg. Besi Shell then. It’s on the way.
- That’s an additional 10 minutes at the petrol station if there’s a morning queue. Shit! Better sleep now! (Reminder #2)
- After the meeting and calls, I need to find a place to sit down to reply my mails to Ms B. Oh yes, and Mr C as well.
- OK OK. Busy day. Go to sleep now! (Reminder #3 – getting frantic)
- I have to go home to see my parent’s tonight. It’s been 2 weeks since my last visit. Gosh! I have been busy at work and so tired that I’ve cancelled on them multiple times. I feel horrible. What a daughter!
- Mom’s been worried about the neighbourhood thefts lately. I wish I can do something to help.
- I set a goal for myself once to be able to buy them a nice home. The lease is expiring at their place soon. I should seriously think about it…
- Can I afford to get them something nice now? They seem to like their place, maybe I’ll just renew the lease for them?
- No time for these thoughts now. Go sleep now or you won’t be able to get enough rest! (Reminder #4)
- *Peek at clock* Frick! It’s almost 3am! OK OK sleep. (Reminder #5)
- The room is quite blacked out and nice and cold. I should have a great sleep. I love this pillow!
- FRICK! I forgot about the proposal! I’d better get up now and work on it!
And there I go, getting out of bed to work. And I’ll end up working til the sun rises.
Sometimes, there are alternatives to Thought #20.
Bah! I can’t sleep now. I’ll have only a few more hours before I get up already. I might as well just get up now.
Hey! The book I was reading was right up to the excitement where I find out who killed him. I should continue it. Let’s not wake Geoff up and go outside to the living room to read.
I’m feeling kinda hungry now. Maybe I can get up and make a snack, eat really quickly and get back to bed? (which I never do, of course).
Some days when I know I am extremely tired and need my beauty sleep, I pop a pill. Usually a Xanax, prescribed of course. But I hate the lingering feeling of the medication the next morning. I feel like I still need to sleep some more. The drowsiness in the morning is not nice!
So, a confession here and a realisation that my mind never rests. My mind never stops. I think too much. I’ve tried sound machines (uMoments from Osim plays sounds of rain, waves, jungle, etc to help you sleep) which helps at times. I’ve tried Lavender scented pillow mist – yes, Lavender is supposed to be relaxing and helps you rest and destress. What a waste of money.
I don’t know what else to do sometimes. I am getting lesser and lesser hours of sleep as the days passed. Sometimes I only catch a couple of hours of sleep a night and this goes on for a week. Geoff made a joke saying,
” Oh. Winnie gets her 8 hours of sleep. Just over the span of a week.”
Very very unhealthy indeed. Which is why my body is concocting all kinds of illnesses. Flu, gastric, fever, body ache, migraine, etc. I think my body is crying for help!
On a lighter note, here are some cute animal sleeping pictures…
PS. The top picture is actually my dog, Oscar sleeping with his favourite Duck toy.