I hate lizards


Just when I was getting ready to sleep, I was startled by a lizard on my bathroom floor. In case the title haven’t tipped you off, I hate lizards.

Living in Malaysia, the common household gecko is everywhere. In Bahasa Melayu (the local language), it’s simply called “cicak”. I can tolerate cockroaches, rats and the usual moths and bugs. But I’m terrified of cicak.

I try to keep the house free of these slimy creatures. My husband was even nice enough to have bought a lizard repellent spray for me. After freaking out afnd squirming for a good 5 minutes, I got the lizard spray and stated drowning the cicak in it. Only to notice, after a considerably long time of non-stop spraying, that the spray was a repellent – not a lizard killer.

I locked myself out of the bathroom, hoping that the cicak might just slowly drown in the excessive spray by the morning. A few minutes later, I went in to check on it again.

It has moved.

I contemplated my next move. I wanted to Google “How to kill a lizard”. Then it hit me.

I grabbed the bidet tap. Opened the drain cover and sprayed the breathless cicak towards the drain hole. After several missed attempts and me squirming and screaming everytime the cicak moved and struggled, I manage to get it in the drain hole.

It was clinging on to the sides of the drain. I couldn’t risk it. I sprayed the tap on full force to get it to lose its grips and fall down the drain. I sprayed water for another good 2 minutes down the drain, just in case. Closed the drain cover lid back and hope it’s done for good.

I hope the cicak wouldn’t work its way back up the drain. I hope that cicaks are not vengeful creatures.

What if it’s angry at what I did to it that it came back in the night and up to my bed?

What if he brought his buddies along with him?

Now that I think about it – it was missing its tail. Where is that bloody tail? I know the tail can still jump around for awhile on its own. Does it also have a mind of its own?

Can the cicak control the separated tail to come after me?

Omaigod!!! How can I sleep now?

I’m still pulling the squirmish face with my toes all curled up. Eek.

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